Tag Archives: best diets

Accountability Cropped

Show Compassion to Get Others to Commit

When the people on my team start feeling the benefits of regular exercise and clean eating, a common question I get asked is: “How can I get my spouse/kids/family to join me?”

When I work with managers teaching coaching and leadership skills one of the most common questions I hear is: “How do you motivate that negative person who doesn’t want to meet you half-way?”

I think the answer to both questions is similar even though the circumstances are slightly different.

In both instances we want the people in our lives to understand our perspective, to succeed and to ultimately, be happy.

I don’t claim to be an expert on this topic, but I can share what I’ve learned from my own experience while seeking the advice of many other experts.

  1. We can’t force our passion on anyone else. When it comes to making changes in behavior whether it’s with health and wellness or achieving career goals, it has to come from within. We can’t push others to take actions we’ve taken no matter how passionate we are about them. All we can do is continue to model desired behaviors, walk the talk and let them know we will be there to provide support and motivation when they’re ready to take the first step.
  2. Come from a place of sincere compassion and caring. In the workshops I lead we ask participants to think of a person in their life who’s had a positive influence on them. People often think of relatives, current or former bosses or athletic coaches. We give them a minute to brainstorm as many qualities or characteristics that made that person a great coach or mentor for them. The words that rise to the top are: caring, honest, integrity, listener. When you lead with your heart instead of your head you’re on the right path toward building trust.
  3. Seek to understand first before offering insights. Zig Ziglar once said: “You can have everything in life you want if you will just help other people get what they want.” Trouble is we spend more time trying to get people to see and do things our way, rather than helping them achieve what they want out of life. The next time you’re tempted to get your spouse to join you during your workout or you want to teach a team member to approach a work task in the same way you would, stop and attempt to understand things from their point of view. Simple questions like: How can I help or what do you need or want to achieve? May get some new insight into how you can add value to them.


The bottom line: Be interested in others, tell them why you believe in them and value them for who they are. With time, you might be surprised by the results you’ll get.

Do you ACCEPT your life or do you LEAD your life?

This past weekend I attended a motivational workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY with Tony Horton, creator of P90X and the new 22 Minute Hardcorps fitness programs.omega_2016

Have you ever attended a personal development workshop? If you haven’t, I suggest you do. It provides a wonderful opportunity to re-focus on personal goals and re-energize yourself to achieve them.

If I could sum up the learning lesson from this workshop: be proactive. Don’t allow life to come to you. Go after life and create your own memorable moments.

Now, I’ve had periods in my life when I’ve been pro-active and truly feel like I’m leading my life, but I’ve also had moments when I’ve just been accepting of my life. I’ve gone day-to-day hoping that something amazing would happen, that I’d catch a break or two and hope that life would serve me.

Instead of approaching each day going through the motions, take a different approach. Say to yourself: “Today, I’m going to make my day. I’m going to create great relationships. I’m going to build on trust.” Take control of the things you can control and lead it instead of letting it lead you. Brian Tracy said: “The turning point in life is when you discover you are responsible for it. It won’t get better unless you do something.”

So, even if you don’t have the time or money to attend a seminar like the one I attended, spend 15-30 minutes a day learing, growing yourself, improving yourself and whatever goals or desires you have will be achieved.

Here is a FREE opportunity to get re-charged:

LIVE WEBINAR WITH TONY HORTON- TOMORROW NIGHT, JUNE 30TH 8:30 pm EST/5:30 pm PST.  Only open to my team of customers and coaches and their customers.  Send me an email: kit@tonyhortonlife.com for log in access information.

Valentine’s Day, Love and Community

“Law is nothing other than a certain ordinance of reason for the common good, promulgated by the person who has the care of the community.”– Thomas Aquinasfitness community

Ah, Valentine’s Day. We love it when there is someone special in our lives. We hate it when there isn’t. Sure, being in love is important, but what about being part of something bigger to fulfill our human need of belonging? Being part of a positive community is so valuable because it provides us with a sense of cohesiveness among a group of people. As I sit here on a 14 degree day in New England, I see it withering away. Our society is moving at a faster and more detached rate due to technology, busy schedules and the frequency with which we change jobs and location. Throw in a winter season with colder temperatures and piles of snow and we become isolated in our homes, which begets a greater sense of loneliness and depression.

One example where I’ve seen the positive impact of community, people supporting and interacting positively with others who share a vested interest, is in the health and fitness challenge groups I’ve lead and been part of over the last 10 years. Changing bad habits and staying consistent with better ones is tough. Let’s face it, temptation is all around us, we all have stress in our lives and God didn’t intend for us to be perfect. It takes a village of people, coming together with common struggles, common goals and a willingness to remain open-minded and caring to change lives for the better.

Those of us that have been part of these groups would admit that we ALL struggle. We’re all tempted to skip our workouts and eat poorly and we’ve made countless mistakes. Those of us that have had more good days than bad would also attribute the people in these groups as the main reason they stay on track or bounce right back when they falter. It’s these people who inspire, motivate, empathize and help us be honest with ourselves that have helped us reach milestones to become happier, healthy humans.

Over the past 6 weeks I’ve been honored to be part of a special group. I was asked to be part of a test group for Tony Horton’s new program; 22 Minute Hardcorps. I am participating among a group of health and fitness Coaches. You’d think we wouldn’t need each other, that we’ve got this health and fitness thing wired, that we all came into it in great shape already. Wrong! It’s been oddly comforting to see that the other Coaches in this group share the same struggles as me. They want to dive into the foods they love, they are finding the workouts tough, they’ve cheated here and there…they are not perfect.

But here’s the thing: we’re all in it…together. We all have a common goal: to go through these 8 weeks following the program the best we can. We are cheering one another on, sharing our struggles, sharing our wins, leveraging our own unique strengths and celebrating each other.

Let’s face it, a strong community, whether it’s a fitness community, neighborhood, town or city benefits the individual, the community and the greater society. Our team is more positive and focused and feeds into every part of our lives. People of all ages who feel a sense of belonging tend to lead happier and healthier lives.

I would LOVE it if you’d like to be part of our next group, starting March 14th. The stronger the group, the more powerful we will be. We’ll be doing Tony’s new program, 22 Minute Hardcorps and you’ll not only have the benefit of a great community, I will provide my own personal experience with the program as an added means of support. I’m excited to try it all over again with a NEW group.

CLICK HERE to join.

Want to be part of a PRIVATE video conference with me and Tony Horton on Tuesday, February 16th at 9 pm EST? Write me at kjcaldicott@gmail.com.


This has been tough for me. January 1st, the 5th, then the 15th rolled around and I still hadn’t gained any traction toward improved post-holiday nutrition. This holiday season I indulged a little more than normal and it proved more difficult to make positive changes when the New Year rolled around.

After expressing my personal disappointment, my husband Danny, always with the “glass is half full” attitude, told me not to be so hard on myself… and he was right.

In physics, the first law of motion says that a body at rest will remain at rest, and a body in motion will remain at the same uniform speed unless an external force acts upon it. Are you stuck or still inching along like I was?

I think that many people lack momentum because of fear of failure. We start and stop, and start and stop, and then success seems so far out of reach so, why bother. From there we put up the façade and start justifying our bad choices. We lie to ourselves and others and this is what creates a pattern of failure.

A few years ago, I wanted to create environment to erase our fears and where we could all feel safe. I created a private Facebook group called “Team Thrive.” Three years later,  many of the original members are still present and new ones join every day because our group offers:

  1. Accountability. Everyone checks into the group just once a day to share how their nutrition was and the workout they did. When you hold yourself accountable to others, you naturally want to have something positive to report.
  2. An environment where it’s safe to be authentic and transparent. We acknowledge we’re not perfect, nor are we striving for it. Our goal is have more good days than bad, to strive to make more positive choices when it comes to improved nutrition and exercise. We can fail and be utterly disappointed and quit or take it in stride and learn from it. When people in the group post about their bad days, their mistakes and missteps, the entire group rallies around them, which leads to the next important element…
  3. A focus on solutions. We are focused on solving problems not casting blame. Anytime anyone poses a problem or a question, not just me, but many in the group offer up ideas and solutions. Why? Because we’ve all been there at one point or another.
  4. Teamwork. When it comes to making consistent, positive changes toward better health, it takes a village. Initially I set this group up to provide accountability for all with me playing the role of Coach. Without any instruction, this group naturally evolved into a place where everyone took on the role of offering perspective and motivation. We all just regular folk, striving to achieving one common goal: the best possible quality of life.

Would you like a safe, free opportunity to get support? You have two options:

  1. Come to our free Fit Club. If you live near Maynard, Ma. We workout in a safe environment once per week to the Beachbody programs. Different fitness levels, different ages, all with different reasons why we show up, but we show up, do our best and forget the rest. We start at 7:15 pm on Monday nights at the Maynard High School.
  2. Free admission to the Team Thrive private Facebook group during the first week of February. Send me a private message on Facebook if we are already “friends” or reply to me here to let me know you’d like an honorary membership for the week. The group is ready to provide support, motivation and encouragement to you.

The Power of Influence from Family

Last night we got together for a nice dinner with friends in town. We are all parents of teenagers so eventually the conversation focused on the trials and tribulations of getting through the teenage years. I found myself speaking freely, (and regrettably this morning),  about the frustrations associated with the teenage lack of empathy, their constant criticisms and the up and down moods that come with living with a 17, 15 and 13 year-old. During these years it’s often difficult not to allow their words and actions to sting. We wonder where those cute, little, kind hearted children went who thought their parents could do no wrong and were their guiding light for direction and advice. We lose sight of the fact that our kids’ behavior at this age is perfectly normal, a sign of growth, temporary but, often and the result of what they see and hear from their own parents.

Enter, stage left, my daughter, who comes into my office to ask; “Mom, where are the P90X3 DVDs? I need to do my work out.” A proud smile comes across my face as I hand her the sleeve of DVDs and she looks at me with a “mom, you’re weird” look. My daughter Liza decided, on her own, to start P90X3 at the end of December and she is just about to complete her first 90-day round, by no prompting from me.

This moment was a reminder to me that actions often speak louder than words. How we behave can have a profound influence on the choices our family members make.

As a parent if you frequently order a cheeseburger and fries when you are out to dinner with your family, then you are sending a message that’s an okay food choice. If you speak ill of others within earshot of your kids, they will criticize others too.

When you model good behavior and stop preaching, that rubs off too. It might take a little longer, but it does rub off. Our family is a perfect example. Look who my children’s’ uncle is after all! Yes, my kids play sports and are active, but my children have never chosen to do their Uncle Tony’s workouts on their own. Perhaps this choice came to Liza after her watching her mom and dad sweat it out daily Tony in our living room.

This past week I saw several posts from men and women in my online groups stating that their spouses were joining them in their workouts. They were so excited to have their partner, nearly 90 days into their health and fitness regimen, finally by their side. When these guys and gals first decided to purchase their Beachbody program from me, they were not making that choice with their spouse. Their dedication and results now have their spouses joining in. The best part – both they and their spouses will likely stick with it because now they are on a journey together.

When I ask people why they want to dive into a health and fitness program now and what has brought them to a place of wanting to change, nine times out of ten the reason has to do with being able to do more for and with their family. They don’t want to continue the pattern of poor health in their family history, they hate that they can’t run around the yard with their child and they don’t want to die young. If you’ve begun making healthy choices and you’re feeling good and your family isn’t following suit, don’t regret. In time they will come around, simply by watching you. If you’ve seen a change in your family members because of YOUR good choices, bravo! Keep it up! Finally, if you want to make changes and are fearful about when and how to start, I’m betting you have family members who feel the same way. Talk with them, discuss what you want out of life and the dreams you have for your future and what’s frustrating about what you can’t do now. Make a plan to support and motivate one another. Exercising with friends is great, but when families living together under one roof make a commitment to change their lifestyle, the bond is stronger, the likelihood of success is higher and most important – it creates new, healthy habits that will be carried down from generation to generation.

And oh yeah, your kids can surprise you and become YOUR role model.

Change: You can do this!

It’s really uncomfortable isn’t it? There is something about going along the same way, knowing what to do and how to do it, that’s comfortable, soothing.540x210 Natural Energy

Then someone or something asks you to change. A major event like a layoff, a death in the family, a heart attack, or just a good long look at the scale or in the mirror that gives us a wake-up call and sends a major signal that indicates our current lifestyle needs to change. What suddenly gets thrown at us is the realization that life is going to get very uncomfortable, even painful.

As a health and fitness coach, I’ve observed all kinds of folks experience this level of change and I’ve experienced it myself. You will go through various stages as you change, all perfectly normal. I and hundreds that I’ve coached are evidence that you can pull through and come out better on the other side.

The first phase we experience is the “oh my gosh, what am I going to do?” phase. It’s like a mini-funeral of our former self. We liked that person, even though we know that person had a fair amount of flaws. The best thing we can do right after that major blow is to take the “one day-at-a time approach.” Instead of dwelling on the hopes and fears of an unknowable future, focus on what’s happening right now. Look ahead only as far into the future as the next day. Make the best choices you can in the moment. Take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back when those good choices occur.

The next step is to truly start imagining what your life could be like, how it can change for the better. For many of us, only a few weeks into a new fitness regimen like P90X3, this is how you might be feeling now. You’ve got some momentum, the grieving process has started to wane. In your mind’s eye you start seeing images of the life you are about to create. These can’t be forced, it has to happen, and these images may not be what you expected. You’re becoming a new person, and you’ll develop traits and interests your old self didn’t have. Wow, clean food starts tasting good! Regular exercise starts feeling good! I think it’s very helpful during this stage to encourage those images to unfold by cutting out pictures that might represent the new you and even create a “dream board.” I’m not talking about posting pictures of unrealistic, skinny models, but rather images that represent things you want to be able to do once this new, healthier you is created. You as a person with more energy, pictures of people happy, having fun, fully engaged in life. Then, you know what happens? You move from dreaming about what your life could be like to scheming to make it happen! Now, the time that was never available for the workout, suddenly opens up every day on your calendar!

Okay, so it’s never all roses from here on in, right? Obstacles and setbacks will hit us head on every step of the way. Failure is likely to occur. So, what do you do? Quit? It’s so critical that you press on. You may need to make some adjustments to the plan, but please don’t give up.  It’s the people that press on through the most difficult of times that come out the strongest on the other side. When you can get through the dinner party without feeling like you have to eat the bad food and when you get a 30-minute workout in at 10:00 pm after a long, stressful day at work. This is the new, better, stronger you that will have the confidence to take on so much more. When you are comfortable in your own skin, you will speak up during the business meeting with an idea, you will have more patience with you kids and just may take on some risks you never thought you could.

Need some help with this change? We’ve got a whole host of folks who started their journey just last week. We’re supporting and helping one another in an online, private Facebook group. Send me a message on Facebook or write me at kjcaldicott@gmail.com and I’ll help you get started.